ROMANCING THE GRE

 

Dear GRE,
 
I would like to thank you for the average score, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I m being Sardonic. While I don’t mean to vilify your methods of educating us, the ASA (Aspiring students of America), I do mean to however provide you with my EXPLICIT DISDAIN for your existence.
 
After all the things I did for you, which included learning about 2000 new words which makes absolutely no sense in my PEDESTRIAN life. My brains are over-saturated with the knowledge of words. I believe now, I am an amateur ETYMOLOGIST as opposed to an architect. I’d rather comment on how the description of the design has been written rather than the design itself. I used to pride myself for being an ERUDITE but instead I have turned myself into a PEDANT. I have become ESOTERIC, only those people who have given GRE, my CLIQUE, can understand me agony. Now strangers around me, think of me as VERBOSE rather than GARRULOUS.
 
You my friend, make everyone toe the line – right down to the last centimeter. You exact blind, unquestioning obedience; demand the strictest conformity to rules, however ARBITRARY or TYRANNICAL; and will not tolerate the slightest deviation from your orders. You are, in short, the very EPITOME of the army drill sergeant. You are a MARTINET. (Except from Wordpower)
 
 
Along the way, you may think that you have done some BENEVOLENT deeds.You may have reinforced my mother’s thoughts about me, she used to think I was an ATHEIST, she now knows I am an ANTAGONIST; and doesn’t hate me after all. You have been MALIGNANT to me in so many ways, for example, I have been able to give names to a few people (TV Characters) I never could understand before. 
  • Alan Harper is a Sycophant. He is TOADY to rich or influential people, catering to their vanity,  flattering their ego, etcetra, etcetra. 
  • Or, Monica, has OCD, Maniac!
  • Or, Neal Caffrey, along with Mozzie, are GLIB and indulge in CHICANERY
  • Or, Bree Van DeCamp is a MONOMANIAC
  • Or, Dexter, my favourite, is a PSYCHOPATH (Now that questions my INTEGRITY)
And so many many more to go. The point is, you have ruined them for me, I liked to believe they were just like me, because I connected to each in a certain way. You gave my bad habits a word; before I met you I had  little knowledge about my flaws, now I know how to name them and I can see them clearly. Thus, feeding my HYPOCHONDRIA.
 
This is an EPIGRAMMATIC EULOGY for you. May you rot Purgatory!
 
Yours CLOYINGLY,
SAGACIOUS LOGOPHILE
 
(Bibliography: Wordpower made easy)
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In my short life, I have been chased by a wild duck, stamped on a vengeful bumblebee (barefoot), gnawed by a insolent cat for feeding it, nudged by a cow towards a charging two-wheeler, and not to mention dogs treat me as their chew toy. Life is short. So go ahead and enjoy my satirical analogies, quirky theories, sagacious epiphanies and mind-blowing artwork before I meet my untimely death caused by a cockroach.

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Posted in Verbal Rantings

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